Friday Night Lights

Two weeks in a row I have taken Reagan to Applebee's on a Friday night. Who knew it was a pick up spot for 5-7 year olds? We sat in an area adjacent to the bar tables. Reagan was saying, "Look mommy, there is a boy. He has blue eyes. Hes kinda cute. Hey you! What's your name? I'm Reagan."

Me: Reagan, hush and eat your food. You have a boyfriend.

Reagan: I know and Josh is who I am going to marry. But I can talk to this boy. and that one and that one.

Goodness. My daughter is an accomplished flirt. The boy, he was 7, told us his mommy is 30 and his dad is 40. Gotta love children. Reagan started to flaunt her Oreo sundae by making all kinds of goofy noises.. ooooh... ahhhh.

So we exit and she says "I bet Josh has already found a cute girl." But she still persists that they will marry.

Just Come On and Burst My Bubble

I sent an email to mostly my lady friends and family about the lady (who does or does not exist, ya know snopes and all that) who had an episode with waxing. I was amazed at how much we sounded alike. Except I dont "fix" dinner ( you fix or repair a car) but even so, I do not prepare dinner (the microwaves gets that credit) and I dont play with my kids (plural, I only have one child and I never call her a kid, thats a goat, right?) So i was discussing with a co-worker, a beloved close friend, and she said "Alot of people write like you do."

Ok, so I knew it. But did it have to show up and just MOON me???? The writing style of course. Why couldnt I just go on believing I was special? My mama thinks I'm "special", well and alot of other things that are not so nice or 100% true. I already admitted to being selfish and semi sorta self centered but only about 50% now that I have my own family. Mother, dont you dare get offended and call me with one syllable responses. This is the MAGICAL part of life where we learn from each other since I am a mother too. And I am meaner than you were. You were not mean. You were a brilliant loving mother. My mother would have given me the shirt off her back. Even in my 20's when I left messages after a night out drinking..... You and Jack raised me and you should be proud. I hope I can make you stronger. I will always love you. But if you move in, all that furniture is not coming. Or that cat.

My best friend is getting married in 22 days. I need to try on my bridesmaid dress again,

Lost focus. Happens.

Wacky Wednesday

YES. I woke up late again. I had Reagan sleeping in a Tinkerbell tshirt that she could match to either of the two pink skirts I pulled for her. I get ready, all that fun stuff. Sean says he can take Reagan to daycare so I can get to work on time. I cant find Reagan.

I hear "Hey, Whoaaa Let's Fire up the Grill" in the scary toy voice like a version of Chuckie. So I know something in Reagans room is causing that thing to talk. I open the door slowly in case a poltergeist is playing with Reagans toys. I check behind the door and there is Reagan fully decked out in Aqua shirt and aqua leggings and huge tears running down her face. She tells me she does not like me. I ruined her "Surprise." She cries for a while.

Later on, I talk to her again and apologize for ruining her surprise. She wants to show me that she is growing up and can do things on her own. This is one time I had to deal with her feelings. To us, its like- whatever get over it. To her, making her own decisions and getting ready all on her own is very important. Now if only I could get her to brush her hair.

NO. I am not a pushover. I pick out the issues that I know will follow her in life and try to diffuse or explain them now. I love my daughter. She amazes me every day.

Earth to ReagansMom

Where have I been? Posting on momscharlotte.com. Actual written communication with other people. The downside to that is you are exposed to other opinions which may actually make you EMOTE. No no no... no emotions here. I must be calm all the time. Too much going to hit the fan come late Summer. But I must not think about it. The upside is, heck yes (who says heck? ewww) I am one funny girl. Sean thinks I am "weird." I told him I was weird(er) when he met me and he knew what he was getting so freaking act like you know what I am talking about. Put an inquisitive look on your face when I talk, not some "Damn, did I marry a idiot?" look that will get you nothing but nuttin. I believe from now on, I will label that look DDIMI (damn did i marry an idiot?) I get it alot. Mostly from men. Women seem to get what I am saying and I think I makes some good points.

Ok, lunch break time. And I just read an email that irritated me so I better log off before I start going into a crazy diatribe.

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

A Maid?

I have driven Sean to drop the M word. Messy, messy, messy. Maid. We will see where that goes. I cant clean, I cant cook.. what am I good for? I work and I diffuse Reagan. That is alot.

My car is still at Goodyear. I had to leave it there. Expensive work. Coolant leak. Crappy Alero. The Dex-cool eats through things. So now I have a leak in the coolant system. I cant buy a new car right now, so keeping the Alero safe is important. Need a maid for my car too. And my "office." I met some interesting people in the waiting area. The magazine selection was bad. Need to call 800 number.

Now I am stranded at home. Sean escaped and went to the grocery store. Reagan has a friend over and they are supposed to be upstairs watching ET.

So, nothing much new. Or nothing that I feel like expressing at this point. PMS and all.

Friday, Lovely Friday

And here is what is bouncing in my head:

I want to watch the Denise Richards reality show. But the promos are so blah. And the title, It's Complicated. Come on. Lacks grit.

Where is my iPod charger? Why does it come in two pieces? It always comes apart. Sean spent what on an iPhone? What is an iPhone? Does it have something to lock or cover the numbers or is his pocket going to be dialing Africa again?

What all did I order online? What am I waiting on? Dont I have to send back that belt for a new one? Oh my goodness, I have loads of clean clothes all over the bedroom floor. Should I iron them and put them away? I cannot stand ironing.

That was pretty smart of me to notice the bathing suit I bought from Boston Proper went down $20.00 in price. They have a 14 day price guarantee. I am getting a credit!!! But I need some kind of pads to push up the boobs. They are not sitting right. I dont look like the girl in the picture.

I have been sick for three days at least but out of work for 2. Thats a whole nother saga. Um, I have gas in the car. What do I need to do on the way home? I need to see HT specials but I am not going tonight. I owe a fine at library. Pay daycare.

I really need to clean out my car. Need to breathe. Focus. I have to get everything together. I am scattered.

I am F'ing Irritated....................

The weekend.... oh gosh, I could really bore you and go on and on. And I will eventually. Problem is I cant vent or I may hurt feelings. This is my life. I am lucky, except for the hormonal imbalance and other offs. I am happy, I am angry. How can you be both at the same time? The computer is not recognizing the printer so I have been unable to upload pictures. The topics I may or may not discuss when I get it all together: Highlights, IHOP, Reagan's Daycare Graduation, Where's Waldo, Weirdos, Stepfords (wives and husbands), exercise what?, job hunt, odor coming out of the sink, clothes...... I am not with it. I am still on a mission to find my purpose. I am just me. Strong but weak, Happy but sad, Secure but insecure, logical yet dazed. So welcome to my life.

Mother's Day, the Countdown to Mayhem

As I sit here at 7 am Sunday morning in my pink fluffy robe, wild bedhead hair, chewed up dental trays, I ponder upon the smell coming from overhead. I have absolutely no sense of direction or spatial perception. I wonder if the office/sunroom is directly under the laundry room. I tried to map it in my head to no success. Either way, kitty cat Harley seems to have left us some presents in the laundry room. He leaves poop piles right in the entryway as you open the door. Many times the door skims over the pile. I always look first, my husband does not. I still have him (Harley not Sean) on the special high protein diet of expensive order-online only cat food. He does not seem to be in pain anymore but he poops wherever he feels like it. I have bought new litterboxes, cleaned them, tried keeping them far away from where he eats. I read the websites about feline behavior, put alum foil in the living room and many citrus smelling cotton balls. He just covered his poop with the alum foil or cotton balls.

Yesterday.... thought I would use my last tanning appt to get it over with. I had the great idea to hit Beauty Brands first to pick up some Brocato volumizing creme and maybe a lotion for the tanning bed. I was in a hurry to get there and to the tanning place and to Target all within a certain time frame. Point: I did not put on any makeup. I took one look in the mirror at Beauty Brands and started hitting the tester makeup. So that blew some time. I could not find a shampoo I wanted to try. The only indoor tanning lotion was on clearance. I was hesitant to make the purchase since it contained a "tingler" or bronzer. Tingler hence your skin tingles (burns like hell). The magic word that made me buy it was Clearance 65% off. Went tanning right after with my new bottle of lotion. Thought I was going to burst into flames in the tanning bed. Came out and looked like a fire victim. I was desperately grasping for ideas to calm down my skin so I could get to Target without looking like a total freak. I tried soap, baby wipes, lotion, then calming lotion and took an antihistamine for good measure. Took about an hour for my skin to return to normal.

I spent hours at Target and I cannot remember why. Oh yeah.... looked at clothes, shoes, belts, jewelry, color ink cartridges, movies, art supplies, towels, pool floatation devices, sunscreens, hats, makeup, cleaning supplies, then finally childrens clothes.

I came home and took Reagan to the pool. She listened the first 30 minutes or so. She stayed in the play area for children. Then she put on her vest and promised me should would not go past a certain point that started the deep end. I told her not to go into the big pool. I was sitting over closer to the childrens area with the slide and Reagan decided to rebel and venture out into the big pool. I gestured for her to return to the small pool. She ignored me and headed to the very deep end. I got up, marched over to the deep end and told Miss Priss to get out the pool, we were going home. She said no she was not getting out. Well, I wasnt getting in. I threatened and she cried and promised she would listen. I said no, you dont get a second chance on this one. She threw a full on tantrum and would not climb up the ladder to get out. A mother in the deep end offered to send her up to me. So I pulled her out of the pool kicking and screaming. I gathered up all our stuff and picked her up as she hit me. She weighs about 57 lbs now so none of this was easy. She fought me the entire walk home. Even the word walk is an exaggeration. I had to drag her home. As I recanted the story to Sean, Reagan decided to hit me. Sean sent her to her room where she cried and begged to come out. I think I am pretty mean and scary. Why is she testing me? Sean yells and most of the time she listens. I yell and she either just cries or talks back. Ughhh. SO HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ME.

Well, better go get ready so I can get out early and return the Speedo floatation thing Reagan wont wear and then the "tingler" (fire) lotion for refunds. All in a day's work. But first, I think I will sit down to a game or two (hundred) of Solitaire on the iPod. Happy Mothers Day to all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANYA!!!!!!!

Dear Diary

Dear Diary:
I do not think anyone is reading this so I will just lay out my heart. Yeah, whatever. After the Invisalign trays, you get essex trays or something like that. Basically, you get a mouthful of mixture to make a model and then they make plastic trays to fit your teeth. Well, I did it again. This time, I cracked not one tray but TWO. I have been clenching my teeth so much that I cracked the plastic that fits around all the back molars. Can you imagine how much enamel I wore down before I had the trays? Really, probably an inch. Not one dentist told me I had a problem until about 3 years ago. I did not know you could clench your teeth so much that it would wear away the surface.

Reagan, Reagan. I tried to do a Jedi mind thing on her and make her think she had picked out her own clothes. It didnt work. She started to cry and remind me that I told her she could pick out her own clothes. Ok fine. I had an alternate plan/outfit so I just let her choose. She wants to make her own choices. I will allow it to a degree. But no hooker shoes today.

Pool opens this weekend. Cant wait. Cant wait to stuff myself in whatever bathing suit I can find and cry when I look in the mirror. I wont cry. Just kidding about that. I will just go online and look for a freaking scuba suit. Whose fault is it that I look terrible in a bathing suit? Mine and Mother Nature's. I refuse to take all the blame. I can only multitask so much. Exercise just took a back seat.

Speaking of which, Reagan really wants a booster seat. I dont have a shoulder belt in the backseat middle and I really dont want to put her by the door. Safest seat is back middle. I will have to think about it. I sure am hungry. Growl stomach, GROWLLLLLLL ... makes me feel like Im getting skinny. Yeah, and malnourished. Hope my friend who is a psych for eating disorders is not reading today. She is too busy. She wont read this one. No I dont have an eating disorder, I have a personality disorder. It is called being a semi-insecure female heading so close to middle age.

Lateron

Reagan, My Literal, Logical, Loveable, Laughtrack

Dear Readers:
I have tried to submit my blog as a really, really rough manuscript but the publishers want me to print it and mail it. They receive so many silly requests from people like me to read their blogs online.

To the point. I sauntered into the Sea Shells, Sea Turtles, Sand Shells room for 4-5 yr olds. I cannot for the life of me remember what her room is called. I think it starts with an S. Anyway, her teacher had her hand over her mouth with a story for me. I asked "Ok, what did she say today?"

Picture this: A funeral procession at Woodlawn. A somber affair. They ask that the children not play on the playground out of respect during processions. Switch to my child's face, in a big pout, lips out, little wet hen angry eyes, arms crossed. Conversation...

Ms Alma: "We cant play on the playground since there is a funeral."

Reagan (thinks a few seconds, screws up face) "Ms Alma, WHY cant we play on the playground.? He's already dead!"

Ms Alma : "When there is a funeral, we have to show respect."

Reagan "BUT HE IS dead. So why cant we play on the playground? He wont know."

Later on, maybe an hour. Ms Alma is reading a story and Reagan interrupts "I still dont understand why we cant play on the playground. It doesnt make any sense. What is a funeral anyway?"

Ms Alma told me she tried to explain as best she could. Then Reagan started asking what a boyfriend was and marriage. Life is so simple when you are young. How does it get so mixed up?

Just another magic Monday

I was so sure I was going to win the lottery. I used the fortune cookie numbers. Not even close. Back to the drawing board. The husband is mad at me for shutting down the computer and losing half a day of his hard work. Well, he had hogged the log on to I-Tunes. I had to get on there to see if there was anything worth downloading. Since we have password protected log ons, I could not log him off. I shut it down. He was cussing this morning. I was apologetic. But everyone knows you should always save your work. And I was trying so hard also to print pictures of Reagan for him. I only printed about 4 before the $40 ink cartridge went out. You are welcome. Now I have no color ink. That means..... driving in rush hour traffic with a hungry 5 yr old, parking at Target while listening to those evil brakes, trying to get a parking spot with people walking all over the parking lot, going in and Reagan whining non-stop for popcorn and Icee, trying to remember the color cartridge # (there are only about 50 to choose from), shelling out $40 for ink, dragging misbehaving child out the door.................and so on and so onnnnnnnnn. Getting home and smelling Harley's poops wafting from the laundry room, loading the ink, finding the photo paper and then having the SHUT DOWN the darned computer because it is locked up. So, my love, you CANT win.

The "Date"

The love and Becky moving Josh's arm from around Reagan
The lovebirds getting kicks off of sweet tea
Josh showing me chewed up red tortilla chips
Reagan, trying to show who's boss

Whoaaaaaa, Becky had to run interference after this one
No my eyes are not black, just have hellatious red eye

Date night for Josh and Reagan. We were late. I was putting on my makeup and Reagan started calling for me from the kitchen. I had just gone through the the litany of phrases "Are your teeth brushed, used the potty, hair bow in, ready?" "Come Here.." she asked??? And to what do my wondering eyes do appear but a puddle of pee and little eyes full of fear. Went blank, then grabbed the paper towels and started wiping. Removed the hooker heels and washed them in the sink. Sent Reagan upstairs for another skirt and shoes. We were supposed to be at the restaurant already.

Reagan was full out. She was ON. Wild. They were happy to see each other. I think they are very cute. It is healthy for Reagan to have a friend who is a boy. She is learning relationship dynamics early. Sean's love gives her confidence. My loves just suffocates her. Nah, I am just the protector, the worrier, the doctor, the shrink, the teacher, the fashion stylist, the chauffeur, the mind reader, the event coordinator..... Part of being a mom.

Fun times. Josh's parents are great people. We had fun with them. Ok, need to focus now. I did nothing all day today. Nothing and Sean can attest to that. I just did not want to go anywhere even though we are low on toilet paper. I always have toilet paper, paper towels, Tide, Downy... I may not have any food but I have the others.

Sean and Mini-He: Pacifier Days and Football

FASHION and the Five-Year-Old Girl

It is time to go... another one of those mornings. I ironed a pink polka-dotted shirt and dirty pink leggings for Reagan. She had that look in her eye, I knew she was going to tuck in that tunic-type shirt the minute I rolled the elastic waist on the leggings underneath her buddha belly. I used my dramatic voice "Darling, we dont tuck our shirts in leggings. Shirts are meant to cover our bottom when we wear leggings."
Reagan: "This is NOT FASHION! You are wearing fashion." Pink dress
Me: "I would much rather wear leggings and a tshirt. "
Reagan"Well if you're wearing fashion I want fashion."
Me: "Reagan, what is fashion?"
Reagan: "It's jean jackets and jeans."
Me: "Hmmm, and who wears fashion?"
Reagan: "Tierra wears jeans and jean jackets."
Me:" Fashion is how you carry yourself not what you wear." I demonstrated with an exaggerated hip swing walk. "Reagan, you are fashion. You set your own rules. It is not what your friends wear."
Reagan: "Well I want fashion. This is stupid. Stupid dots."
Me: " If you dont get out of the bathroom and I dont get to work on time, there will be no fashion. You will be wearing old clothes that dont fit because I wont be able to buy you anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I need to think about it and try another approach. Mother friends, send your ideas.

test to moi

added some of you on email to auto receive blog

Decided I did not like how the emails came across and took most of you off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apologies. Not the same in email as it is in a direct link.

Adrienne: My Guest Blogger

Brenna and Reagan
Caroline, Reagan, and Brenna

I’m another mom from Reagan’s pre-school and my daughter Brenna has been a classmate of Reagan’s for several years now. I’d like to contribute my own “Special Moment” to the book Denise is going to publish.

I frequently make the drive between Charlotte and Charleston to visit my parents and Columbia, South Carolina makes a nice midway stopping point to refuel and take a potty break. On one such trip, both of my girls were sleeping soundly until I pulled up at the pump and turned off the engine. Caroline, my then three-year-old ,stretched and rubbed her eyes and said, “Mommy, where are we?”
Excited to share I bubbled: “Oh, we’re in Columbia sweetheart ~ a very special place! This is where mommy and daddy went to college and went on our first date and fell in love. . .”

She looked around for a moment to survey the scene and then asked: “ . . . and now it’s a gas station?”

Vocabulary and Logic and your Five-Year Old

Driving past a store after Reagan played hide and seek at Kirklands, brakes whistling as I slow down for the speed bump, ladder or something on the roof of the store......
Reagan: "Mommy, why is that ladder on the roof?"
Me: (Irritable after the hide n seek in Kirklands) "I dont know. I am not psychic."
Reagan: "Huh?"
Me: "I cant read minds."
Reagan (dramatic, hands a-flying, eyes a-rolling): "Well, uh, you sure can read books!"