At Grandma's!!!

We are here. Trip was short. Driving pictures to come. Reagan is getting her way. Grandma is a total pushover. ie Reagan is wearing her jammies instead of the new dress Grandma Paulette bought her. Sean is out in the den watching the SC game. Paulette brought out a binful of old pictures and letters. Per Sean, I am prohibited from reading the envelope marked "Letters from Sean- Marine Boot Camp." I imagine there are many teardrop letters. I found some lovely pictures of Sean and his old girlfriends. Surprisingly, most were brunettes. Although I made some snarky comments, they were all really cute. But really nothing like me.... It is interesting because he does not brag about his past conquests which is good because I am jealous by nature. So we will see how the trip progresses. I am feeling shopping withdrawal. I just want to buy something pretty to wear. oh well, guess i will go play game board Jeopardy by myself.
Hugs and Kisses. Where are my comments? And vote on the hair!! I have my appt next weekend.

Oldies But Goodies: The Men in My Life

Blessed

I am truly blessed. I forget most of the time because I am always fighting myself. I am my own worst enemy. Nothing is ever good ENOUGH. Not what other people do but what I do. I am going to have to work on that so I do not pass that on to Reagan.

Anyway, I am blessed because I have a beautiful healthy child and a wonderful supportive husband. I have been able to reconnect with family and see similarities that I have not seen before.

I have managed to establish a few unbreakable friendships. Those are the most important ones. I am thankful Tanya's dad did well in surgery. I cannot wait for him to see her get married and have her first child. I am sure that is coming just around the corner, my soul sister.

And as soon as the PMS rekicks back in, I will not see things so clearly. While I was in the moment, I wanted to record it because these happy thoughts are few and far between. And to my brother, Jeremy, if you are reading, Welcome to my crazy life. To my cousin, Bari, drink a glass of wine and coast through your bout of PMS. Look at your little "Pearl" and see the years of fun you are going to have with a daughter. Pearl (Brenna) is hilarious and I am sorry it took me so long to meet her. Both of your children are precious but please keep Jeffrey away from Reagan because she really takes the term "kissing cousins" literally. I tried to explain that she cannot chase him yelling "Kiss me my handsome Prince" because they are related and umm, that is frowned upon and in later years can make for some very odd offspring.

If my mom is reading my blog, welcome back into my life. I love you and have missed the real you. You have always been my inspiration to exceed (succeed, excel, whatever).

Ok, moment has passed. Hope everyone has a great weekend. We are off to see Grandma Paulette in Greenville in Sean's new ride. Cant wait. Should be fun. Pictures to follow. Peace out.

PRAYERS

Prayers to my best friend's dad who is having surgery to remove cancer today. You know who you are.

Happy Birthday to Brooke. And congratulations on the bun in the oven. I know, how crass am I? I was thinking back to that birthday party you and Michelle had back in our junior year of high school at your apt clubhouse. Seems like just yesterday.

"DUH"

I remember "Duh" going out in the late 1980's. How is it making a comeback in the Preschool Generation?

If I hear one more sentence ended with "Duh Mommy," I will go nuts.

Me: "Reagan, brush your teeth"

Reagan: " I already did. Duh, Mommy."

WHO IS TALKING LIKE THIS AT PRE-K?

Little Miss Reagan is getting a little too sassy.

New Curtains

Here are the curtains I ordered. I just do not have the rings that go with the pleats. Getting those is an entire trip out. I have to decide if I want to order online and wait or hit the store with Reagan. Target is on the way home but she always wants to eat there and I do not feel like it.

Hurry Up and WAIT

That is how I feel. I am not sure what I am waiting on. Fall? I love Fall. Best season of all. Time change I like but that is in November this year so that will be odd.

I feel very anxious. Maybe because I decided it was ok to have another baby. That is a big step for me since I am an only child. (except for the two half-brothers I have but I did not grow up with them so does not count).

If I Could Turn Back Time......

I would have used self-tanner instead of laying out in the sun.

PHOTOS BY REAGAN

MAN LIKE BIG TV -RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Here is Sean for once getting to watch his HD plasma TV. Whatever all that means. Usually this TV is tuned into Boomerang or Disney Channel. Somebody gets her way alot and that is not me. The curtains arrived from JC Penney for that one little window to the right of Sean. I am not sure how they will turn out. Took me 18 months to decide on something. I am very funny when it comes to my home environment decoration. Sean and I have the worst time compromising on picture height. He is of the school that the higher, the better. No... there are boundaries... everything has to flow. Not too high, not too low. I still think the frame needs to be removed around the TV or he needs to fill in the unpainted portion. Just looks silly. I love our house but it is going to take me years to decorate completely. We have five freaking bedrooms and I am not filling them up with children. I doubt my mothering skills now.

Subject change..... somehow Reagan is learning to pray alot. I like prayer. Good for her. But she is not learning the right way to pray. here is Reagan " Dear Jesus, please let it rain so we can have water and I can wash Mommy's car with the hose."

I correct her, No honey, pray for the grass and the crops that all the farmers are losing. Like I am any prayer role model, but I try.

THEN she hits me up with "Why dont you take me to church? All my friends go." I KNOW I pulled this on my mother and she sent me with my cousin's Grandmother's 7th Day Adventist Church. I was never comfortable. Ever. Even at weddings. I am not comfortable in a church. That does not mean that I am the spawn of Satan. I just do not know what it means. I have been to houses where people are super religious and have vivid depictions of Jesus on the Cross in color as artwork. And this was when I was a little girl. I think it scared me.

I love God, Jesus and all those angels who have been looking out for my little self-destructive backside. Churches smell funny and the seats are not comfortable. And I just feel like a fraud. I have my own relationship with God and when I think Reagan is ready, I will suck it up and take her to church. But what do all these religions mean????????????????? I bombed Religious history in college. Give me a Statistic class anyday.

Reagan's Joke:

Why did 6 cross the road?

Because seven eight nine.

I told her she was mixing her jokes. The chicken crossed the road and why was six afraid of seven but she thought it was funny anyway. I think she may have even thrown in some Knock Knock jokes.

Misc Pictures

Pre Mental Shutdown

Ok so last month, my post was pms, enough said. Pms seems to go on forever, like every day except four or so. Ah who knows. It is just one of those days. I woke up at 3am and could not sleep so I trekked downstairs and watched some crazy movie about a totem pole and 3 wishes. I think I watched it all and then fell asleep until about 5:50 am. I was supposed to be up by 5:30. I had to think about what I could wear (and where was it) and what Reagan could wear. My boss, Beverly, tells me to plan outfits the night before. I know that is more efficient but I am a "see what I feel like tomorrow" type of person. If you see me wear black five days in a row, then a) I am in a bad mood, b) I gained weight or heck, even all of the above. Since I am covered up in a sweater in a cube where no one can see me at work, it does not matter unless I have to get up for something. Other than that, I may see no one or talk to no one all day. Just depends. Today I don't mind. I would rather be quiet.

Let's see: Reagan news.. The usual... she fought and screamed from 2-3pm yesterday. She was not tired, she did not want to take a nap. I was like a general calling on all my strategic plans of action. I tried ignoring her, turning off the TV, talking about it, threatening. What finally worked was turning the TV back on. All she had to do was focus on the TV and she fell asleep in two minutes. I knew she was tired. Why didn't she want to take a nap? She is lucky to have such a luxury. Speaking of luxury, Sean had the day off on Friday and bought a Ford Expedition. I really thought that after having the Ford Explorer lemon (check engine light on all the time) for years that he would go with a different manufacturer. If my mother-on-law is reading this, think back to when he bought that Mustang. He called me three times Friday to talk about the car. He sounded really excited. Reagan can't wait to ride with him and watch the DVD player. It probably wont work............ PLUS he has to install the carseat back on the leather seats. You know who installs the carseats???????? Me of course. Men do not read the instructions. EVER

The Never-Ending Birthday Party

I knew it was coming and I was pretty much prepared. Two birthday parties on the same day. Last year, the same thing happened with the same two birthday girls but the parties were at the same time and I had to choose. This year, the parties were from 10-12 and then from 2-4. I could make them both and I HAD to. Brenna's party was the Pony party at Latta Plantation from 10-12 and of course were going. She and Reagan have been in the same class at Woodlawn Baptist since they were in the Toddler Room. Maya'a party was the Princess dress up party at 2. She had been in Reagan's class for about a year and then switched to Pre-K public school. Reagan misses her alot so we had to make that party. I had only recently found out about Maya's party. So I inquired about a gift. Gift card from Borders, Club Libby something, or Build a Bear. I could handle Borders. I had to get the card by Saturday. Drove to Borders Thursday night and there was a line wrapped around outside to get it. I do not have a clue what was happening there but it was obvious we were not getting in for the gift card.

Googled Borders and saw that they open at 9am on Saturdays. I broke out in a sweat. I was cutting it close. Could I get into Borders at 9am, purchase the gift card and make it to Latta by 10am? I made it to Latta by 9:50!!!!! I found a prime parking spot beside a 10 foot pile of hay and horse poop. Only little problem was Reagan dressed herself and put on too small underwear. I had packed an extra outfit in case I needed a back up but even I packed too small underwear. They make them really small..........So she grabbed herself all day. But most little girls do at this age. The cotton in underwear must be funky.

Brenna's party was great. Maya's party was great. But we were very tired by the time we got home. What a long day.

SEAN SAYS

"Have you looked at your birth certificate lately?"
I look at him thinking, oh no, has someone stolen my identity? Where is my birth certificate? Did he lose it? Did he spill coffee on it?
I said: "No, why?"
Mr Smartass says: "Because you are 34 years old and watching a teeny-bopper movie."
THERE WAS NOTHING ON. "Bring It On" is a comedy about cheerleading. My mom and I went to that movie together. It is the only time Kirstin Dunst looks like she has bathed. If he can watch "My Cousin Vinny" over and over and and over and over, I think I can watch teeny-bopper movies.

REAGAN LOVES THE GRINCH

She is in love with him. She asked why the Grinch is so mean. I told her he was angry because he does not have any friends. Reagan said that this was because his heart was too small. She said that she would be his friend because she loves him. Then his heart would grow and he would be happy.
My response: "You can't change people."
My life passes before me..... 12 years down the road, Reagan brings home an angry boy with multiple piercings and tattoos. She loves him, wants to marry him. She wants to change him. I see it!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have to remember that Reagan is a Pisces. Here is what I read about Pisces:
Imaginative (yes VERY)
Sensitive (yes)
Compassionate and kind (yes)
Selfless
Unworldly Intuitive
Sympathetic
On the dark side....
Escapist
Idealistic
Secretive and vague (absolutely)
Weak-willed
Easily led

I will be prepared. I am trying now. She is having a hard time because one boy is mean to her. I may have to rethink my strategy.

Little Radio Hitler

As I back into the grass this morning (see earlier post), Reagan is just chattering away.
"Mommy, turn off that radio. "
Me: " Damn, I ran in the grass and your daddy is looking at me."
Reagan: "What did you say?"
Me: " I dont remember."
Reagan: "Just try Mommy. Sometimes you can get your memory back."
Me: "Reagan, be quiet, I have to concentrate on driving."
Reagan: "Turn off the radio, I am now the radio. Mommy you have to push my nose to turn me on."
Me: " I am driving, I cannot push your nose."
Reagan: "Ok, then what song do you want to hear? I know Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer."
Me: "Please. No Rudolph, it is September."
So she sings Jesus Loves Me, BIBLE, and some other songs. Fun stuff. Love it.

Men and their Lawns

I should have named my blog The Not-So-Secret Life of Reagan's Mom and Sean's Wife...... Really, though, since getting married and having a child, I have struggled to figure out who I am. I like myself better as a wife and mother than as who I was. I suppose it's because I have meaning. I matter. Because they need me.

Anyway, Sean was all bug eyed as he saw me back out of the garage and into his grass. Usually I am careful. But I was so tired. And I ran right through HIS lawn. His lawn and not ours because it is his prized possession. He loves a nice green lawn. I know he probably dreams about it, wishing he could secretly water the lawn and not get reported. I am sure he has visions of a sign in the yard reading "Lawn of the month." But I ruined those dreams with my one tread mark marring the lush green grass. Sorry babe. It was an accident.

New pics coming soon. Comment on, my friends.

Coffee Diet, Splenda fear, etc

So I am trying to lose 7.5 lbs before mid-October. I thought drinking coffee would help. The supermodels do it. But I add quite a bit of Splenda. It is made from sugar!!!! Then my one aunt that I do not see often told me it causes brain cancer and neurological disorders. So I will be thin but nuts? and sick? I go back and forth because cookies and bread really call to me. They sing to me. Then they sit on me like a tub of lard. If my virile husband and I plan to procreate, I need to start off at a lower weight before the shock of baby2 takes over my entire body. my FEET were twice their normal size last time. Even my nose was fatter (but I have watched other pregnant people and I see their noses get fat too.) BUT I do not want to give away too much information. Anyway, is it Friday yet? Nope.... only Wednesday.

The Little Romantic

Had to stop the Radio at Matchbox 20 this morning. Reagan liked the song "If You're Gone." She listened to it and said "That song makes me think of running and holding hands with Carson." Carson is a boy in her class. Please NOT YET. Do not think of boys that way...........She is already reacting to their comments about her clothes. Boys at this age think girls are silly. So I know she is asking them if she looks pretty. Of course they cannot say yes. They are BOYS. I told her to show them the hand and say "Talk to the hand." I have to start setting up her protective barriers. I cannot let her self esteem be determined by a bunch of 4 year old boys. I will have to have a talk with Sean about his part in building her confidence as a girl. Lord knows I didn't have it. Just don't want her to end up like me. Insecure. Because my girl is something else!!!!!

Miley Cyrus lyrics and Reagan

Reagan sings her little heart out. She cracks her daddy up. She is so dramatic when she sings, so emotional. Ok here are a few words from Miley Cyrus song (alter ego of Hannah Montana):
"I'll be right here when you need me.
Anytime just keep believin
And I'll be right here
If you ever need a friend
Someone to care and understand,
I'll be right here."

REAGAN'S RESPONSE:

"Mommy, I dont have a friend who is right there when I need them and who understands"

MINE:
"Mommy is always here when you need me."

Reagan:
"Yeah, but you dont understand...... when we go shopping, you dont listen when I tell you I want surprises. You dont listen when I tell you I want presents. You need to listen and buy me presents."

Please, the child has more surprises and presents than Santa Claus.

Comments

Feel free to leave tasteful comments. That is the only way I know you are keeping up. Ame???? Jana? I check out your blogs to see how the girls are. I comment sometimes. Who else has a blog. Tanya, have you started one? You need to keep a blog on the single life.... while you are still free as a bird and not down to writing about poops and weekends recording your precious little ones sayings that are really only cute to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yall, I actually set the TV to record the new Hannah Montana episode Friday night at 8pm. Back in the old day, Jill and I would already be seated on our bar stools with the box of wine listening to the Stevie Nicks comeback song.

So..... My friends. I love and miss you. Hope you are all well.

Reagan's First Crush

Dave, the waiter at Harper's. She told him he was handsome. It didnt get us any free food though. I will have to coach her better next time. But I thought it was cute so I gave him a bigger tip.

So, we are home. I am tired. We went to JCPenney and ordered curtains. I was on the phone with Sean trying to find out how wide the window is in our living room and my mom buzzed in on the other line. Or vice versa. Either way, my mom somehow ended up on speaker phone on my cell. I didnt know I had speaker phone. So she was asking where I was and everything she said was amplified around the store. So I hit mute but that muted me so all everyone heard then was "HELLO I CANT HEAR YOU" from my mom. It was crazy. Reagan was busy picking up screws and nails off the floor and wrapping herself up in the curtain displays.

I tried to find Reagan some new clothes but she was not interested. All the clothing stores seem to sell stuffed animals and that is all she wants. But not gets. I have to go straighten up now. Details on the weekend later.

THE DENTIST VISIT

Reagan's first dental exam went well. Better than mine when I was 5. (I had 13 cavities). Reagan has a small cavity in a molar so we will have to get that filled. I was offered silver or white fillings and I cut the assistant off mid-sentence "WHITE!!!, there will be no silver fillings, EVER." And then I asked how long I could put it off. Dr Savage looked at me like I was crazy. I started mumbling,"Well, I know not too long but I just have to check my calendar because I dont have any scheduled vacation until December.....so how fast will this cavity grow???" I will see what I can do. She gets nitrous oxide to calm her down.....with her vivid imagination, I am really scared of what might come out of her mouth.

I met our new neighbors last night. I know I looked a fright. Reagan and I took a nap yesterday and I had eye makeup all around my eyes. I heard someone yelling in the back yard so naturally I went to see what was going on. The neighbors two dogs had escaped and were running towards the two Yorkies on our other side. So anyway I meet him. We have a really interesting neighborhood. Alot of people either work at home or do not work. My imagination runs wild. How do you afford Mercedes, Escalades, Volvos, BMWs and not work????? I am actually proud that I work. It would be great to have a choice but I am ok with working because I have no domestic talents. I can clean when motivated.

Subject change. I just got off the phone with my boss and she told me Hannah Montana tickets went on sale so I have to go look. I called her because I needed some advice on a family matter. I cannot say too much because I hope this family member takes her boss to the cleaners for age discrimination. I am livid. This SOB is making her life HEdoublehockeysticks. She busts her backside and all he can do it pop Ambien and Oxycontin and wreck his car. I am trying to connect her with legal aid. I want him to go down. She has had a hard life and does not need his crap. Karma, karma... always remember.

REAGAN'S LATEST BRILLIANT OBSERVATION:
"Mommy, I could not feel my heart today. I think God went out of my heart."

Me, and my great mommy wisdom:
"Baby, God is always in your heart."

My mom's birthday is tomorrow. I am not sure who is coming but I will try to take pictures.

Gotta run. I have alot to do.

Just Another Manic Monday

Not really. Just a busy Monday at work. And now I making dinner. I know, DONT FAINT. It is just steak in the oven. I really dislike preparing food. But my relationship with food is another story.

Reagan is climbing all over me so I guess this will be a short post. I am having trouble uploading pictures but new ones are on the way.

My mom's birthday is coming up so I will be planning for that. Ok- Reagan is driving me crazy................I need to get her hearing checked because all she seems to hear is chocolate, candy, pool, and that is about it.

Reagan, The Brave. Enema Defeator

If you did not guess from the blog title, we had another battle with the enema. I gave Reagan ten days to go potty on her own. Today, Daddy brought home the enema (Target and HT neither had children enemas.. or I would have tackled it sooner).

So Reagan is crying and Sean thinks she is being dramatic... but I know better. I know that look of absolute horror on her little "mini-me Sean" face. I understand her fear. My mom used to slip me laxatives when I was 10 or so and I didnt have a clue what was going on.

BUT, Reagan was so brave. Sean tried to keep her on the toilet but I was already running down the stairs for the Goodnight pullup. I knew that poop monster was not coming out in the toilet. I was prepared with the wipes and a towel to cover the floor. So within five minutes, with a look of pure determination, Reagan pushed with all she had and told me how brave she was being... little voice just a quivering. And then I did the honors of wiping up the mess. If I have any meaning in my life, anything accomplished over the weekend, it was this. I helped my baby rid her body of nasty toxins.

For my friends without children, forgive me. You really have to have one to appreciate the value of the story and overlook how gross it is. Maybe you did something really fun over the weekend.... went out of town, bought new clothes, had a pedicure, went to the gym.... you get my drift? This was my one moment where I felt like I was a hero. The object of my heroism is out riding her bike with her daddy; a bike ride that we promised her while trying to work the enema.

I really have to hurry now. Sean has been cleaning all day so I need to look as if I cleaned while they have been gone. I am jamming to High School Musical 2. There is a song called "Fabulous" where Sharpay says "Read my lips" and Reagan keeps singing "Read my Hips." Now that really scares me. I have explained that no one (my goodness, NOT YET) can read her hips, LIPS dear. Save the hips for another lifetime where I am too old too understand.

Hope everyone had a safe Holiday. Until next time.......