Hillary and Reagan

Months back, I was behind a car with a Hillary sticker. I immediately gagged and tried to keep focusing on the road but my EYES WERE BURNED BY THE BLAZING MORONIC STICKER. I must have mentioned that I hate Hillary. Reagan wanted to know about Hillary. I just said she was a bad lady. Every time we see a bumper sticker, Reagan asks if it is Hillary. She must have also asked her daddy about Hillary because next thing I know, Reagan is asking why Hillary wants to take all our money........

Now the funny part. A commercial came on for the Buxtonbag(http://www.buxtonbag.com/)

The bag is supposed to house a wallet that stays closed. Reagan said "Look Mommy, you need to get that wallet so Hillary can't get your money." Out of the mouths of babes. My little genius.

My South Blvd Target SHOWDOWN

First things first, I ABHOR Target at 9531 South Blvd. Hate it, hate it, hate it. The ones over here at Stonecrest and Ardrey Kell are lovely establishments. South Blvd store has many incompetent employees and young, inexperienced, attitude-ignorant managers. Reagan's grandma bought her a pair of pants in a size 6. They match a shirt and jacket that fit fine. The 6 pants are too small. I stopped by Ardrey Kell Target to exchange and they had none in stock. The gave me a store credit but not for full price. Customer service person told me Pineville had 2 in stock.

The family went to dinner out in Pineville so we could stop by Target from hell and get the pants. I found them in a 7 and went to customer service. They rang up at full price. I explained to her I wanted an even exchange. One pair at 6 for the other at 7. But no, they dont price match other stores. Hello.... they are not a FRANCHISE. I expect all stores to sell at the same price. Dont give me some song and dance to line someone elses pockets with extra money. I asked for a manager and got a white trash idiot. I said get me another manager, I got a low class, bad attitude, too big for her britches cocky undereducated girl with a chip on her shoulder. I said I want these pants at this price. The price I was credited for on the same pants. She said she could not do it. I told her that was a lie, I knew she could override it. She would not so I may have said a few things about their crappy store and employees. She pulled her walkie talkie out and tried to call security. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I was so NOT shaking in my boots. I told her to call security. They never came when some man tried to accost me with my infant in the parking lot three years ago. I was so MAD. Came home and sent an email to corporate. They need to close that Target and go ahead and open a Walmart. Fits in better over that way.

Stuff and All

Where to start? We had our work Christmas party Friday. There were five prizes this year. Somehow, I picked the number 1 and won first prize. Got a 32" HD flat screen TV. Pretty good. Ironically, it will not fit in our bedroom so it now resides in Sean's office here at home.

Reagan threw a tantrum Thursday night at Target. Terrible. I really dont want to get into it right now but she is clever, spoiled rotten, sassy, and sweet all wrapped up in one frustrating-but-much loved way.

Reagan again. Today I was laying on the couch and the doorbell rang. I did not answer it right away because I thought someone was selling something. Then there was a pounding on the door. I got up and went to the door. Surprise, surprise, well hello officer.....He inquired if anyone in the house called 911. No. Do you have a fax machine. No. Is your phone number ********. Yes. Do you have little ones in the house. YES one little one upstairs in her room with her door closed. I told him to hold on. Reagan was horrified. She had called 911 because a friend at school told her about it. I had the officer talk to her about when to call 911. But at least she knows how to find the numbers.

Reagan again. Constipated again. I threaten with an enema and she goes potty. She told me and I quote, "I squeeze with all of my mites (think she meant singular might) and it came out. Always loads of fun.

I headed out early this morning to help Sean with his family Christmas shopping. I went out and they stayed home. (Reagan is banned from shopping after her Target incident) I went into a hair salon store that sold hair products. This lady asked "You want smell Ginga, smell real good." I told her no, please close up that ginger lotion or I am going to throw up right here. I was very nauseous. Every store was a little too warm, a little too fragrant. Good to get out of the mall. Hope everyone has a great holiday.... have to go. My computer time is up.

I Cannot Keep a Secret (Mine not yours)

Saturday morning, I took a pregnancy test and to my surprise, it came back positive. I thought I had the conception date all figured out and I had missed it. I am not always right. Just 99% of the time. And if I am wrong, I am able to admit it unlike someone to whom I am married. There I was... you have to count to 5 while you tinkle on the stick. It is not easy nor is it comfortable with a 4 yr old tyrant barging in the bathroom asking me why I am pottying on that thing. I see one line turn pink, I was like, go ahead, bypass the other line (this was not the first test I had taken), I dont care if you dont turn pink too. Well, there they were.... two pink lines. I know, I could have paid more for the test that actually spells it out; Pregnant. Not Pregnant. But why pay the extra money when two lines will tell me the same thing? Next thing you know, they will be offering Spanish versions of the Pregnant, Not Pregnant test. I know, it is coming.

So, I had it all figured out in my head. I would not tell anyone. I would wait and tell Sean at Christmas. Ten minutes later I was waving the stick at him. I warned him not to tell anyone yet. And then I called Tanya and left her a message that I was pregnant. I said I was not going to tell anyone else..... you know how that goes. My life is fair game.

Will keep you posted.

Reagan's First Official Christmas Present

Reagan received a package today from her Uncle Jeremy and family. I went ahead and let her open it. Thank you Jeremy for Sharpay. Believe it or not, she has no High School Musical dolls. Now she wants Ryan, Sharpay's brother to continue her collection.

My Girl

Surprise!
happy

silly
scared
goofy
goofier
lovely

Sean's Work Christmas Party

Before the party

Reagan is clearly not pleased

At the Party with surprise guest, Santa

The crazies

It was a cold and dreary night. Rain Rain Rain. My favorite!!! Love it. But not driving or riding in it. I opted black pants over jeans only because my jeans felt a little snug not because I wanted to make an impression. Oh but I am sure I made an impression. So we pull up in front of the house that Seans thinks is the correct address. I say "Hon, um, there arent any lights on, I dont think this is the right house." Hmm he thinks, maybe I got it wrong. However he had not written down the house number. So we drive along and I try to guess which house is the party house. I tell him to look for a balloon. Hard to see in the rain. Raining harder now. My hair looks like Alfalfa on a bad day. I just dont know what happened to that cute cut. It has turned against me. Each day, twisting and turning into a monstrous creation... think bowl and feathers circa early and late 1980's. Anyway, Sean calls the host. He was only off one number in the house number but it made a big difference (light vs dark). I saw a soggy balloon hanging desperately to the mailbox. Wife is always right.


We go in, everyone was gathered in the kitchen. I said hello like I knew them. No clue. First things first, open up my Diet Dr Pepper and it spills on the floor. Like a pro, I race to the paper towels. I can find them anywhere. Ask my mom, I am the paper towel Queen. Viva is my brand of choice. So I wipe it up and stand at the counter. My clothes get dried by the steam emanating from the dishwasher I had lodged myself against. Whew I am hot. I make a plate (mistake #1) and scuttle over to the nook area to a table by the nice cool window. There are about 20 different conversations going on and I am sitting by myself. No big deal. I get some wings (Mistake #2) and eat those up. Some people come and sit with me at the table.


So here she comes. Word vomit queen. I cannot stop talking. Perhaps I have not had an extended conversation in a while. I am talking and talking. About the usual, Reagan and her antics. People are listening so I keep on talking. I try to look at Sean and see if he is giving me visual cues to shut up. He is kind of looking off into space so I am not sure what that means. New people come to the table and they seem to be listening to me also. Per chance I am a mesmerist. All is well and THEN-----------it is like whats-his-name in Along Came Polly when he ate at that foreign restaurant (Thai food maybe). Horrible stomach cramping. The blood drains from my face, I get chills and ongoing cramps. I can no longer talk and I am concerned that my audience thinks I am not interested in their reciprocal conversation. I am, I am!! Underneath this gut wrenching pain, I can hear you talking in the distance. Fade to black. Sean, I mouth, I need to go home (Mistake #3). Frown, pout. YOUR WIFE IS SICK!!!!! I am not being dramatic and if you dont get me out of here, I am going to be stuck in the bathroom crying out in pain the rest of the night. So we ride home in silence. I cuddle up with the heating pad, watch a movie and go to bed. And then am awakened with the stomach monsters at 5 am. What did I eat? Was is the earlier Chick Fil A? You know they are evil. Ughhhhhhh.


This is getting long but I am sure I had more to say. Some other time. Gotta go wipe Her Royal Highness' runny nose.

Christmas Countdown

Reagan and the Grinch

Reagan and Buddy

Looking at the ball tree

If You Cannot Laugh at Yourself..........

There I was. It was 8:18 am. I had to be at the dentist at 8:30. No problem, only a 6 minute drive if I stay out of the left lane for people taking lefts on 3rd street as it turns into Providence... But first, I have to beat the light at Cedar and E Morehead. Look, I am behind a school bus. The kids are waving and gesturing (were they throwing GANG signs at me???). I wave back and motion to them that they should sit down in their seats. Surely the light is getting ready to change and the bus will be in motion. The kids are still waving and gesturing. I start throwing the peace sign and the L sign (loser sign, maybe they think it is a V for victory or maybe they think it is a pretty bird...) . One girl rolls her eyes. Yeah, I know, I am an old fart. How cool am I, I think, I am waving to kids on a bus? CLICK, light bulb goes off, ding ding. I get it now. They are waving me AROUND the bus. The hazard lights are flashing and the bus is broken down, not going anywhere. Instead of feeling like an idiot, I laugh. It is funny. Then I go around the school bus (still waving and signing) and I am on my way. Poor things werent throwing me gang signs, hmmm, or were they? Ha ha.

Woodlawn Christmas Program

SUPERMOM!!!!

So what else did I do? I worked and then played Elf by changing the batteries out of Grinch and Frosty. It is not easy to change those batteries. There was no label on the outside to indicate what type. I fearlessly used the wrong type screwdriver to unscrew the safety lid and peeked inside-- shewwwww both Anti-"Green" toys took a whopping 4 AA batteries each. But I was prepared. The hardest part was using a star shaped screwdriver in a plus shaped screw. Sorry, I have no idea what they screwdrivers are called. I just know shapes and I know sometimes you can use a butter knife.

Reagan fell asleep and I was sure she would be out for a long time. Nope, I saw movement within an hour. "Mommy, has it been 4 minutes yet (I told her I needed to work for 4 more hours)?" And then "Mommy, is 4 minutes a long time?"

I will have to wake her up at midnight to give her antibiotics. She HATES it. Cheap me even paid an extra $1.88 for them to add bubble gum flavoring to it. 2 teaspoons is sure alot in one of those spoon things. I had her chase it with Cherry Slushie and ended up with it all over me. Guess it does not go down so smoothly. I dont remember not taking my medicine when I was sick. Here she comes, Miss Strep Throat America... and she whispers (mouth all red and sticky)" I dont want anymore." I gave her a candy cane and I am warning her not to leave it in the office because we have pet ants who like to bite us. But I see that she has lovingly placed it on her daddy's desk. And now she whispers again, "I want you come bathroom with me. Can you? Did you hear me? You better hurry, I gotta go real bad." Guess I better get up... pause for potty hand-holding.

Fun stuff.

The Environment is Sickly

I am working from home today. Reagan has strep, I am getting over some gosh-awful stomach flu. I need to get these vomit green (think Exorcist, head-spinning, GREEN vomit spewing color) faux velvet curtains out of here. All I have to do is put them back in the packages (funny how you can get them out but never back in, does a factory machine pack them or a person because that takes alot of skill). Then Sean will return them and hopefully buy dishes or something else instead. I will learn how to sew curtains if it will keep those awful things off these walls. I can feel the casket closing in. GREEN fake velvet. I knew when he told me what he had picked out we were going to have a problem. Think dill, nausea, old lady house, etc and that is how I feel.

Anyway, have to work. Christmas show is tomorrow night so I will see if I can get some good pictures.

Note for the day: Never doubt a mother's intuition. I knew I had to get Reagan to the doctor. I am glad I did.

Dry Spell

I