Note to dumbass: to anyone who accepts this label.
Do not run a stop sign in your residential neighborhood to cut in front of me and then putter putter putter to the next light. Yes, you with your old Volvo and thinning hair. You pulled out in front of the me this morning, ran a stop sign to hurry up and PUTTER. You already broke the law, why dont you go ahead and speed now? Only makes sense. Then you act like it is all cool, you check your rearview to see if I am flipping you off. I am not. I am just sitting there with an amazed look on my face that you could be so dumb. However, human nature does make us want to beat the next person so maybe I will give you a pass this time. Sometimes our foot hits the gas before our brain logically engages.
I have gotten a little better. I try not to swear. I yell silly words. Reagan yells "BA'AM" like Miley on Hannah Montana when I yell Damn.
Pictures later. On the road to semi-normalcy.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Last Night, Saving the Drama for me the Mama
Reagan saves it up all day. The minute I hit the doorway at daycare, she is on full speed. I have it all figured out. And I will explain in a minute. I am in a hurry to play solitaire and not eat so I can gorge on Girlscout cookies and hide the box when I get home. Little Girl scout terrorists. Out to make the world a fatter place. It is not their faults, little angels (terrors).. they dont profit from the cookies.
I meant to post a picture of Reagan. I had a few cute ones last night. She was laying on the couch with her cute little rosy cheeks and I took a few pictures. All I would have to do was edit the lighting and red eye. But what was with the red nostril?????????????? I dont have the software to edit that out. She has a cold but I knew that was not a normal nosebleed from dry air. Little talon fingernails had been picking up in that nostril and acting like they did not. I could not post a picture with a blood smear around her nose. And then the batteries were going and Reagan did something goofy and I had to ignore her. She likes to bark like a dog, crow like a bird (birds are bad), jump around like a monkey... all those things that drive me crazy.
Subject change. Big one. Needed gasoline. Got the works car wash (the day before it rained, today), had to hold up the passenger window so it would not fall down in the middle of car wash. Heard a crack. Sat on and broke my favorite sunglasses (9.99 at Target). So we pit stopped at Target. My glasses no longer in stock. Reagan started off well then progressed to usual shopping experience. She started licking her lips at the end and it made me mad because we agreed she would not eat at Target. That was the rule set before we went in. In and out, I said... no toys, no food, no nothing. When she gave me that look and started licking those lips she reminded me of a hyena. She is manipulative. She did not get any food but she did clean Target's floor with the butt of her pants as I dragged her out the door. I bet they have plenty of video of me there. Surely there are worse. I hope. I would hate to be the laugh of the year.
SO reagan got in trouble all night. I know why. She needs positive attention and all she is getting from me is negative attention. Everything is so hectic and I am not June Cleaver. I guess I have alot of anger built up, not sure why. But she is my baby even though she looks like Sean's kindergarten picture, esp with her new semi-but-not-bowl haircut. I love her for her spunkiness. But that sassy stuff has to go.
Times up. Need to play solitaire. No focus. All over the place.
I meant to post a picture of Reagan. I had a few cute ones last night. She was laying on the couch with her cute little rosy cheeks and I took a few pictures. All I would have to do was edit the lighting and red eye. But what was with the red nostril?????????????? I dont have the software to edit that out. She has a cold but I knew that was not a normal nosebleed from dry air. Little talon fingernails had been picking up in that nostril and acting like they did not. I could not post a picture with a blood smear around her nose. And then the batteries were going and Reagan did something goofy and I had to ignore her. She likes to bark like a dog, crow like a bird (birds are bad), jump around like a monkey... all those things that drive me crazy.
Subject change. Big one. Needed gasoline. Got the works car wash (the day before it rained, today), had to hold up the passenger window so it would not fall down in the middle of car wash. Heard a crack. Sat on and broke my favorite sunglasses (9.99 at Target). So we pit stopped at Target. My glasses no longer in stock. Reagan started off well then progressed to usual shopping experience. She started licking her lips at the end and it made me mad because we agreed she would not eat at Target. That was the rule set before we went in. In and out, I said... no toys, no food, no nothing. When she gave me that look and started licking those lips she reminded me of a hyena. She is manipulative. She did not get any food but she did clean Target's floor with the butt of her pants as I dragged her out the door. I bet they have plenty of video of me there. Surely there are worse. I hope. I would hate to be the laugh of the year.
SO reagan got in trouble all night. I know why. She needs positive attention and all she is getting from me is negative attention. Everything is so hectic and I am not June Cleaver. I guess I have alot of anger built up, not sure why. But she is my baby even though she looks like Sean's kindergarten picture, esp with her new semi-but-not-bowl haircut. I love her for her spunkiness. But that sassy stuff has to go.
Times up. Need to play solitaire. No focus. All over the place.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Personlized License Plates.........
1. Hortie (who cares? Is this your nickname? Is it worth the extra money?)
2. More to come. That is the only one I saw before all my interior lights went out. Guess it was a fuse.
3. "Sparkle" Inside joke? Zoom whitening on teeth. People, you cannot do this to me. Again, dont make me guess. Note to self and others: I will not be held liable for any defamation the owners of the plates may feel. I do not know you so I am not singling you out. Im just reading your plates when I am supposed to watching the road driving between the lines. Cant help it if my alignment is off and I veer to the right in your lane. What do you expect? I am reading license plates, listening to 4 year old chatter, putting on my makeup, messing with the IPOD, looking for a marker, a tissue, a snack, my mind. But I am still watching the road and the cars around me.... and their tags.
4. Note 2: I like the bitchy tags... the ones that tell you to get off their bumper or f- off. Hmm, perhaps I like the angry people. Who needs more help? The Angries or The Cheerfuls?
5. Not a tag but have you ever tried to read the labels on your car fuse box? I had no idea what those things meant. It was process of elimination and luckily, I processed ok and I can read my speedometer and gas gauge again.
2. More to come. That is the only one I saw before all my interior lights went out. Guess it was a fuse.
3. "Sparkle" Inside joke? Zoom whitening on teeth. People, you cannot do this to me. Again, dont make me guess. Note to self and others: I will not be held liable for any defamation the owners of the plates may feel. I do not know you so I am not singling you out. Im just reading your plates when I am supposed to watching the road driving between the lines. Cant help it if my alignment is off and I veer to the right in your lane. What do you expect? I am reading license plates, listening to 4 year old chatter, putting on my makeup, messing with the IPOD, looking for a marker, a tissue, a snack, my mind. But I am still watching the road and the cars around me.... and their tags.
4. Note 2: I like the bitchy tags... the ones that tell you to get off their bumper or f- off. Hmm, perhaps I like the angry people. Who needs more help? The Angries or The Cheerfuls?
5. Not a tag but have you ever tried to read the labels on your car fuse box? I had no idea what those things meant. It was process of elimination and luckily, I processed ok and I can read my speedometer and gas gauge again.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Just When You Think....
STOP. Dont think. It is overrated. I know I have not blogged much since January and believe me, once in a while a few fleeting funny thoughts pass me by. I just could not bring myself to sit here and type the words. One blog that is still to come is about personalized license plates. Good Greatness people, do you have to broadcast your ignorance on the ass of your car?????????????????????? We do not care for your cutesy inside jokes or family lingos or whatever. One that sticks in my mind and scares me is the one I saw on the way to Greenville. I did not mention it aloud. Kept to myself. The tag read NO*DK. The driver was a shorn headed woman. Did it mean No Dyke? Something else? I really dont care but dont make me wonder. Dangerous. ...................Other: DO NOT USE YOUR CHILDRENS NAMES ON PERSONALIZED LICENSE PLATES. Are you nuts? I will collect the ones I see and report them to you later.
Basically it has been 6 weeks or so of ups and downs and arounds. Busy at work until we fully merge and then who the hell knows where I will be? By the way, I dont like Angelina. Go away with you and your fertile freaky self. I hope Jennifer finds someone better. Brad Pitt is getting old anyway. No wonder I like the youngsters. They are still a little young and untarnished.
Gotta go. Reagan needs me. More about her later.
Basically it has been 6 weeks or so of ups and downs and arounds. Busy at work until we fully merge and then who the hell knows where I will be? By the way, I dont like Angelina. Go away with you and your fertile freaky self. I hope Jennifer finds someone better. Brad Pitt is getting old anyway. No wonder I like the youngsters. They are still a little young and untarnished.
Gotta go. Reagan needs me. More about her later.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Taylor Swift Song Reminds me of high school
Cold As You lyrics
You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted
[Chorus:]
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it throughI've never been anywhere cold as you
You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you
[Repeat Chorus]
You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you(Died for you)
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/taylor-swift-cold-as-you-with-lyrics/1340231942
You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted
[Chorus:]
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it throughI've never been anywhere cold as you
You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you
[Repeat Chorus]
You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you(Died for you)
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/taylor-swift-cold-as-you-with-lyrics/1340231942
Monday, February 18, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Things That Make You Go Hmmmm????
I did not read the "fine" print on the Zantrex 3 bottle. You may experience a flusing or rash from Niacin...... I thought I was allergic to soap all of a sudden.
Reagan and I were too lazy to give her a full bath in the tub. This was easier when she was a baby.Monday, February 4, 2008
New Year's Resolutions, A Month Late
I will not eat (too much) chocolate
I will not curse (as often)
I will wear eye repair under my eyes
I will wake up on time
I will not cry
I will cut Reagan's toe claws on a regular basis
I will organize (to some degree)
I will dust (when I remember)
I will confiscate markers and scissors from Reagan
I will not yell (as much)
I will pick out curtains
I will eat no more jelly beans this year
I will try to keep my nails neat instead of looking like I clawed my way through the dirt
I will TRY to be creative and play with Reagan
I will TRY to get outside on the weekends
I will TRY to stop only choosing items on the left (OCD thing)
I will TRY to stop being my worst enemy; That Karen is a bad girl
I will consider having my teeth cleaned (if they knock me out first)
I will try not to be a hermit
I will try not to sabotage myself for summer swimsuit time
I will TRY to get in the pool with Reagan this summer (but who knows what is in that water... all those snotty noses and dirty hands)... another OCD thing
I will try to set goals (maybe just one)
I will try not to cry (I know, thats at the top, but I added one more for good measure)
I will try to pray often and not for me, but for others
I will try not to procrastinate
I will try not to set myself up to fail but I think I just did with this list
I will not curse (as often)
I will wear eye repair under my eyes
I will wake up on time
I will not cry
I will cut Reagan's toe claws on a regular basis
I will organize (to some degree)
I will dust (when I remember)
I will confiscate markers and scissors from Reagan
I will not yell (as much)
I will pick out curtains
I will eat no more jelly beans this year
I will try to keep my nails neat instead of looking like I clawed my way through the dirt
I will TRY to be creative and play with Reagan
I will TRY to get outside on the weekends
I will TRY to stop only choosing items on the left (OCD thing)
I will TRY to stop being my worst enemy; That Karen is a bad girl
I will consider having my teeth cleaned (if they knock me out first)
I will try not to be a hermit
I will try not to sabotage myself for summer swimsuit time
I will TRY to get in the pool with Reagan this summer (but who knows what is in that water... all those snotty noses and dirty hands)... another OCD thing
I will try to set goals (maybe just one)
I will try not to cry (I know, thats at the top, but I added one more for good measure)
I will try to pray often and not for me, but for others
I will try not to procrastinate
I will try not to set myself up to fail but I think I just did with this list
Friday, February 1, 2008
Therapy - My Way
I play Solitaire. Really it is called something else on the IPOD. But I play it. After the miscarriage, if I wasnt crying or sleeping, I was playing Solitaire. Or yelling. So here I am, at lunch, playing the game when I decide I will write a few lines. This is interrupting my grieving which should really be over by now. I cry at night like a crazy lady. But I know it is not me, it is the Hormones. The Hormones are not nice people, they like to play games with you and make you happy, sad, crazy, weird. Like a see-saw. Dont see many see-saws anymore... must be a liability. Break a tailbone, sue the manufacturer. At least my thoughts still splinter as usual.
But, getting to the point after rambling... I am a hero. Well for only 45 seconds was I a hero. It was raining this morning... Reagan and I were having our usual conversation on the way out the door (Me: (not a hero yet) REAGAN, I AM NOT ASKING YOU AGAIN TO GET DOWN HERE AND LETS GO. WHY ARE YOUR CLOTHES STILL SITTING ON THE COUCH? I TOLD YOU TEN MINUTES AGO TO GET DRESSED. WHY WERE YOU UPSTAIRS PICKING OUT TOYS? DONT YOU KNOW I CANT BE LATE AGAIN OR I WONT HAVE A JOB. I AM LEAVING AND IF YOU ARE NOT DRESSED BY THE TIME I START THE CAR YOU WILL HAVE TO SIT HERE BY YOURSELF.(not a hero yet, just a mean mommy). YOU WILL HAVE TO WALK TO SCHOOL IN THE RAIN. DO YOU HEAR ME? I KNOW YOU DONT WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL.. YOU DONT WANT TO TAKE NAPS. WISH I COULD TAKE NAPS. YOU DONT KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO BE ABLE TO TAKE NAPS AND PLAY ALL DAY. ARE YOU COMING? I MEAN IT, I AM LEAVING RIGHT NOW. IF I DONT HAVE A JOB, WE WONT HAVE ANY MONEY AND THEN WHAT. WHY DO I STILL SEE YOUR CLOTHES ON THE COUCH?.....) (Reagan: but Mommy, I had to get these toys. They want to ride with me. I just had to get this bunny and these baby pictures. Look how cute I was in this picture....and you're just mean.) ME: GET YOUR CLOTHES ON NOW. LETS GO. Yes, that is a cute picture and give me the bunny, I will put it in the car. Hurry clothes on. Where is your toothbrush? Have you brushed your hair, there is food in it.. or is that a booger? Are you wiping boogers in your hair? Reagan: No, mommy, I dont know what that is. ......
So we finally get in the car. Get to school. I am still going to be late. It is raining. We both run with our umbrellas. We get to the room... Reagan looks at me and asks where the bunny is. Told her she had Clifford in her bag, did not need bunny. Lip trembles (hers, not mine), eyes tearing up (hers not mine, maybe mine too... never know with me).... FINE, hold on. I sprint down the stairs, jimmy the back door open so I can run back in, get the bunny from the car, run back in the door, up the stairs, drop off the bunny, spring back to the car and have FIVE minutes to get to work. Takes me 10. But I am still the hero.
But, getting to the point after rambling... I am a hero. Well for only 45 seconds was I a hero. It was raining this morning... Reagan and I were having our usual conversation on the way out the door (Me: (not a hero yet) REAGAN, I AM NOT ASKING YOU AGAIN TO GET DOWN HERE AND LETS GO. WHY ARE YOUR CLOTHES STILL SITTING ON THE COUCH? I TOLD YOU TEN MINUTES AGO TO GET DRESSED. WHY WERE YOU UPSTAIRS PICKING OUT TOYS? DONT YOU KNOW I CANT BE LATE AGAIN OR I WONT HAVE A JOB. I AM LEAVING AND IF YOU ARE NOT DRESSED BY THE TIME I START THE CAR YOU WILL HAVE TO SIT HERE BY YOURSELF.(not a hero yet, just a mean mommy). YOU WILL HAVE TO WALK TO SCHOOL IN THE RAIN. DO YOU HEAR ME? I KNOW YOU DONT WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL.. YOU DONT WANT TO TAKE NAPS. WISH I COULD TAKE NAPS. YOU DONT KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO BE ABLE TO TAKE NAPS AND PLAY ALL DAY. ARE YOU COMING? I MEAN IT, I AM LEAVING RIGHT NOW. IF I DONT HAVE A JOB, WE WONT HAVE ANY MONEY AND THEN WHAT. WHY DO I STILL SEE YOUR CLOTHES ON THE COUCH?.....) (Reagan: but Mommy, I had to get these toys. They want to ride with me. I just had to get this bunny and these baby pictures. Look how cute I was in this picture....and you're just mean.) ME: GET YOUR CLOTHES ON NOW. LETS GO. Yes, that is a cute picture and give me the bunny, I will put it in the car. Hurry clothes on. Where is your toothbrush? Have you brushed your hair, there is food in it.. or is that a booger? Are you wiping boogers in your hair? Reagan: No, mommy, I dont know what that is. ......
So we finally get in the car. Get to school. I am still going to be late. It is raining. We both run with our umbrellas. We get to the room... Reagan looks at me and asks where the bunny is. Told her she had Clifford in her bag, did not need bunny. Lip trembles (hers, not mine), eyes tearing up (hers not mine, maybe mine too... never know with me).... FINE, hold on. I sprint down the stairs, jimmy the back door open so I can run back in, get the bunny from the car, run back in the door, up the stairs, drop off the bunny, spring back to the car and have FIVE minutes to get to work. Takes me 10. But I am still the hero.
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