Inside the Mind of a Modern Mom

I have had many other mothers ask me in a very hushed voice, "Do you spank your child?" It is so funny in this day that spanking is so taboo. (A taboo is a strong social prohibition (or ban) against words, objects, actions, discussions, or people that are considered undesirable or offensive by a group, culture, or society. Breaking a taboo is usually considered objectionable or abhorrent. Some taboo activities or customs are prohibited by law and transgressions may lead to severe penalties. Other taboos result in embarrassment, shame and rudeness.) Sorry added that from Wilkepedia because I thought I was using the word correctly but was not sure.

Anyway, my answer is (and I always preface it with the same thing so that I dont seem unusually cruel) : "Well, we really try not to (ha!), but if we cannot get any other discipline to work, we may pop her." I dont remember getting spankings, I remember getting thumped in the face, but I was a TEENAGER!!! Spankings, shoot, mom and I threw tennis balls and shoes at each other. I had a heel stuck in the wall. Guess good old daddy Jack had to spackle that sucker up.

So, yes, I pop Reagan on the hand if she cannot keep her hands to herself. She has this annoying habit of grabbing my boobs (payback is Hell hon, wait until I take you shopping for your first TRAINING bra, I am going to have them announce on the PA "Do we have any 32 AAAA super small training bras in stock? We have a customer up front who needs one.") I remember being so embarrassed when my mom and I went shopping for bras. I did not need one so I felt like I was holding a sign that read "FLAT CHESTED FRAUD." I got some itchy thing and ended up stuffing it with three jumbo cotton balls. I think this was in 5th grade. But I recall regressing and not wearing a bra in 6th grade. I was very petite. Then.

Back to the point. Yes, I spank. Open palm, never ever a belt and never will. That is just wrong. It does not work either.

My camera broke thus no pictures. I have a new one but I dont have any good pictures yet. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I am sure I will come up with something funny eventually. Kinda out of the groove at the moment. Ta Ta for now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 11.22 JILL!!!

I had planned to call you but I do not have your number. So I did not forget.

Tuesday's Thoughts

Yes, I am still bitchy. No, I have not taken any pictures. I did not know that Zac Efron who plays Troy in HSM One did not sing his parts!!!!!!! They did a voice over. I think he sings fine and I feel cheated, as does Reagan, that when we hear the first CD that it is not "Troy." Anyway, he sings in the 2nd movie so guess I will just listen to that one (I mean Reagan will listen to that one.)

Tried for the Hannah Montana tickets again. Could only get one single or four before they sold out and it really is not worth all that money to sit by the trash cans in the upper level. I only wanted two tickets because Sean is adamant about not attending. That is fine, we will buy the concert CD if we really want to see it.

Had orthodontic appt this morning. Margaret adjusts my retainers (one tooth is being stubborn and wont move into perfect position). Margaret is my favorite. There are just some people that make you feel happy. After being around her, I feel happy for a short period. And it is not that she is bubbly, she is quite straightforward. But we both are so maybe that is why it is comical. She has the same sense of humor I have. She does not look at me odd if I say something off the wall. So that was the highlight of my day.

This is my lunch break but I wanted to blog. Maybe sort out why I am so grumpy. Probably because the world is too big, over populated, no way we can all get along (not that I really care), money and power seem to rule and I have neither, but why do I even care about that? Just odd things. Of course we have money but not like the really wealthy people who never have to work again. I just want to have a choice. I want to be in control of everything in my life. I know I cant but I try the best I can. I dont want houses all over the country, just my house. Brain is fighting me.. I dont want to continue down this conversation path.

I am not good with Holiday's. I am used to a set pattern of doing things and Holidays throw me off. My brain shuts down and I get this dumb look on my face like I dont know what to do and I really dont. MUST feed child, MUST wipe child, MUST feed cat, MUST check bank account to make sure no one has stolen my identity, MUST brush child's teeth, MUST set/turn off house alarm. Those are the main thoughts that go through my head when I dont have a set pattern. Of course some of those are every morning thoughts. BRUSH child's hair, check to see if she changed her underwear or is she trying to wear the ones from yesterday? TURN child socks inside out so seam does not touch toes, find TWO matching shoes for her and me. Make sure they match. That is my life.

I am still grumpy.

Arghhh- Just call Me GRUMPY

I dont know if the bitch is back or if she ever left.

Mom, You Asked and Here It Is: Trip the Light Fantastic

Taken directly from Wilkepedia:

To "trip the light fantastic" is to dance nimbly or lightly, or to move in a pattern to musical accompaniment.

History
This phrase evolved through an interesting series of usages and references. The phrase is typically attributed to Milton's poem L'Allegro, but a somewhat similar phrase appears in Shakespeare's The Tempest. The phrase in this modern usage comes from the lyrics of the song The Sidewalks of New York. The following chronological list outlines a few notable usages of this and similar sounding phrases.
The phrase 'tripping on his toe' appears in William Shakespeare's The Tempest, written in 1611:

Before you can say come, and goe,
And breathe twice; and cry, so, so:
Each one tripping on his Toe,
Will be here with mop, and mowe.
In this context, "mop, and mowe" means 'a grimace'.

In the poem L'Allegro by John Milton, published in 1645, a similar phrase appears, which seemingly refers to the dance-like gracefulness of the goddess Mirth:

Come, and trip it as ye go,
On the light fantastick toe.
And in thy right hand lead with thee,
The Mountain Nymph, sweet Liberty;

The term trip in this passage means to step lightly or nimbly. The adjectives light and fantastick (as Milton spelled it) refer to the movement of the feet (toe, or dance step).

William Makepeace Thackeray borrows this phrase in Men’s Wives (published in 1843), as an elegant and humorous reference to dancing:

Mrs. Crump sat in a little bar, profusely ornamented with pictures of the dancers of all ages, from Hillisberg, Rose, Parisot, who plied the light fantastic toe in 1805, down to the Sylphides of our day.

Jack's Birthday Celebration

On the way to Rock Hill At the parent's house

Yes, I had terrible red eye in this an all you can see are evil black orbs as my eyeballs.
Mom, trying to smother, I mean, hug Jack.
Jack trying to ignore the camera.
Jack, trying to play it cool as The Outback Staff comes over to sing Happy Birthday (like he didnt know it was coming... we have this down pat for at least three years running.)
Reagan eating ice cream that our server, Jennifer, let her help make back in the kitchen by saying the magic word "DINGO."


Rock Hill is a busy and crowded city. Getting to the Outback was like driving on the Autobahn. I tried the "call ahead seating" option for Outback. I asked the young man if the location was near Celanese Rd... He replied in a "what a dumb ass tone:" "What, MA'AM, are we near Shoneys???" NOOO, I replied, are you near Celanese Rd. Yes, ok. Well, I want to do call ahead seating, party of 5, 1 child included and a 60th birthday event. PHONE GUY: "Ma'am you do know what call ahead seating means"." I cut him off,"Yes it puts us on the bottom of the list but does not guarantee seating, correct? (I did not take one breath as I said this in my superior "I know more than you think" voice). He answered that was correct and blah blah.

We all hit the bar, Lush Little Reagan ordered a Shirley Temple. We were seated within 10 or so minutes. Damn Blooming Onion again. I hate those things. Nasty slimy onions. Dinner was fine. Reagan wanted to lay in the booth and sleep and not eat her dinner so she could save room for dessert. Anyway it all went well. While the men smoked, Reagan entertained Nanna Barb, my mom with a repertoire of songs ranging from Christmas, Christian, to Pop (High School Musical). Mom said she felt she could not look away because Reagan looked her directly in her eyes and all but dared her to try to look elsewhere. Reagan also belted out the Ten Commandments in a tone that would awe even Moses himself. "NO BIBLES," (I prompted, hon, I think you mean No other Idols).. Oh yeah, Reagan giggled. NO OTHER GOD, NO ADULTERY, NO MURDER...(We started getting slanted side of the eye glances from the other patrons decked out in Sports team attire. ) I cannot remember if she finished. Mom loved it.

Last note, Sean bought Reagan The High School Musical wall calendar and Reagan told him that Troy was "dreamy."

A Message to My Friend-Girls

Do you ever feel like you have PMS everyday? What is up with that? Has something been added to the food and water? I think it is a conspiracy to make all pre-menopausal women think they are crazy. It is just evil I tell you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK!!!!!

Happy 60th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We will see you this weekend!!!

A Few Things Worth Mentioning

Reagan told all her teachers: "My mommy says bad words when she is driving but then she says 'Don't repeat me Sweetie.'" That is nice to know. She also told them I gave her approval to marry Josh.

Something Odd About Me (of which there are many): I look up all my doctors I have ever seen on the Meck County Real Estate lookup to see how much their houses cost. I want to know what I am paying for. The less expensive the house, the more content I am at using them as a doctor.

Pictures

HAIR PAINT- GUILT GIFTS WHEN BABY IS SICK

I did paint Reagan's hair first but that was hours ago. She is too busy playing paddle ball (another guilt gift) to have her picure taken. Guilt Gifts bought for sick Reagan: > Girl Hair Paint Kit, 2 Paddle balls, 2 stuffed unicorns, Plastic bowling ball set, Bratz underwear, Rice crispies treats, and many many clothes and socks. Dad bought her a "Preparing for Kindergarten" CD software kit for the computer. She was running a temperature again around 4pm. I hope she is getting better.

Reunited.... Reagan and Josh

Not Josh but Elizabeth's Dad

At the Woodlawn Fall Festival. And my camera died before he even arrived. Becky is going to email me pictures so I can post. They were so cute. Josh wanted to bring Reagan a leaf but Becky talked him into a signed paper flower. Reagan went around the gym and showed everyone what her "boyfriend" brought her.

Reagan has been sick this morning. Not sure what happened. Stomach ache since about 3-4am and vomiting started around 6. More to post later.

Brackets are OFF!!!!

I also noticed that I now have Anchor Woman hair.

The New Coat and Other Poses

Walmart and Tantrums

I had to get an rx filled. They told me it would be ready Thursday. Wouldnt you know it, the manufacturer pulled it and there is no substitute. No one called me. Nothing. Nada. Reagan was crying and stomping and shuffling around the blood pressure monitor machine yelling about wanting to eat Subway and I was waiting for the dr to call the pharmacy back with an alternative. We waited 25 MINUTES. In that time, Reagan tried to sneak back in the pharmacy area. She stood on a bench, knocked on the window, and waved to the pharmacy manager through the partition as he was working. She told the girl at the register her earrings were really big. They were huge gold hoops. She told her that she was going to her Grandma who lives in Greenville's house in two weeks. She went through the reading glasses again. She jumped up and down up and down off the bench. She ran around the aisles while I threatened with anything I could think of. She asked some boy around 3 what he was looking at. Guess he looked at her wrong. The entire adventure sucked. I had hope to pick up a few pair of sweatpants for her and get home before it got too dark. I cannot see well at night to drive.

When I picked up Reagan from school, I was shocked to see her in jeans. Shocked, I tell you. She peed in her pants and I did not have warm clothes in her cubby. Only summer clothes. She does not have enough back up clothes for the cubby. Her teacher had to borrow from an older room. Arizona jeans in a size 6. They looked cute.

SO- after getting an alternative rx, marshmallows (bribe), cherries (bribe), and choc covered donuts (bribe), we were headed home.

The best part of the day was the package on the front porch. Wonderful Grandma sent a winter coat and two outfits, one of which can go in the cubby for pee-in-the-pants days. I will take pictures later and post them for Paulette. The purple shirt is beautiful on her. The pants, well you know, we have to roll them under the belly. Reagan said she wished God did not make such big waists!!!!! I cringed a little. I dont want her to have a complex.

Here is the coat. They also have a cute faux leather with cheetah print.

REAGAN'S WORDS OF WISDOM

If you sin, your heart gets dirty. You pray and ask God to forgive you and your heart is clean again. God has room in his heart for everybody, he must have lots of hearts.

Reagan's Questions and my answers in parentheses.

Who made the stink bug (stink bug maker)? Who made the stop sign (stop sign worker)? Who made the grass (seedlings). She then passes gas in the enclosed car. Who made toots? (me: You did) Who made the roads (dont get me started). And on and on and on.

BEWARE CHICK-FIL-A!!!!!!

Was it not bad enough that I fell on their greasy floor last year with tray in hand and 3 year-old in tow???? Was it not bad enough that customers and employees alike snickered while I lay on my butt with food scattered all around me? The poor little pubescent employee behind me said "Ma'am, I can get you another drink." Did I look like I cared if I had another drink? I was on my backside... who cared about a drink???? I pulled some muscle and had xrays to make sure I did not break anything but would Chik Fil A pay for the xray bill? Nope. They claim no liability. So, my advice is, get witnesses, carry a nanny cam, take pictures. Anyway, I am over it. I will not go to that location again.

BUT, last night Sean got a case of food poisoning and guess where he ate lunch???? You guessed it. Chik Fil A. So, my friends. Think twice. The cow commercials may be funny, but eat more chicken may not be a wise choice. Stick with beef. I warned him about that place. The wife is always right.

Longest Day Ever

Saturday, we went to Lanise's birthday at the Old Celebration Station. Reagan is great at air hockey. After that we went to the mall. Long Day. Sunday too. Went to Sam's and then Target.