HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANYA!!!!!!!

Dear Diary

Dear Diary:
I do not think anyone is reading this so I will just lay out my heart. Yeah, whatever. After the Invisalign trays, you get essex trays or something like that. Basically, you get a mouthful of mixture to make a model and then they make plastic trays to fit your teeth. Well, I did it again. This time, I cracked not one tray but TWO. I have been clenching my teeth so much that I cracked the plastic that fits around all the back molars. Can you imagine how much enamel I wore down before I had the trays? Really, probably an inch. Not one dentist told me I had a problem until about 3 years ago. I did not know you could clench your teeth so much that it would wear away the surface.

Reagan, Reagan. I tried to do a Jedi mind thing on her and make her think she had picked out her own clothes. It didnt work. She started to cry and remind me that I told her she could pick out her own clothes. Ok fine. I had an alternate plan/outfit so I just let her choose. She wants to make her own choices. I will allow it to a degree. But no hooker shoes today.

Pool opens this weekend. Cant wait. Cant wait to stuff myself in whatever bathing suit I can find and cry when I look in the mirror. I wont cry. Just kidding about that. I will just go online and look for a freaking scuba suit. Whose fault is it that I look terrible in a bathing suit? Mine and Mother Nature's. I refuse to take all the blame. I can only multitask so much. Exercise just took a back seat.

Speaking of which, Reagan really wants a booster seat. I dont have a shoulder belt in the backseat middle and I really dont want to put her by the door. Safest seat is back middle. I will have to think about it. I sure am hungry. Growl stomach, GROWLLLLLLL ... makes me feel like Im getting skinny. Yeah, and malnourished. Hope my friend who is a psych for eating disorders is not reading today. She is too busy. She wont read this one. No I dont have an eating disorder, I have a personality disorder. It is called being a semi-insecure female heading so close to middle age.

Lateron

Reagan, My Literal, Logical, Loveable, Laughtrack

Dear Readers:
I have tried to submit my blog as a really, really rough manuscript but the publishers want me to print it and mail it. They receive so many silly requests from people like me to read their blogs online.

To the point. I sauntered into the Sea Shells, Sea Turtles, Sand Shells room for 4-5 yr olds. I cannot for the life of me remember what her room is called. I think it starts with an S. Anyway, her teacher had her hand over her mouth with a story for me. I asked "Ok, what did she say today?"

Picture this: A funeral procession at Woodlawn. A somber affair. They ask that the children not play on the playground out of respect during processions. Switch to my child's face, in a big pout, lips out, little wet hen angry eyes, arms crossed. Conversation...

Ms Alma: "We cant play on the playground since there is a funeral."

Reagan (thinks a few seconds, screws up face) "Ms Alma, WHY cant we play on the playground.? He's already dead!"

Ms Alma : "When there is a funeral, we have to show respect."

Reagan "BUT HE IS dead. So why cant we play on the playground? He wont know."

Later on, maybe an hour. Ms Alma is reading a story and Reagan interrupts "I still dont understand why we cant play on the playground. It doesnt make any sense. What is a funeral anyway?"

Ms Alma told me she tried to explain as best she could. Then Reagan started asking what a boyfriend was and marriage. Life is so simple when you are young. How does it get so mixed up?

Just another magic Monday

I was so sure I was going to win the lottery. I used the fortune cookie numbers. Not even close. Back to the drawing board. The husband is mad at me for shutting down the computer and losing half a day of his hard work. Well, he had hogged the log on to I-Tunes. I had to get on there to see if there was anything worth downloading. Since we have password protected log ons, I could not log him off. I shut it down. He was cussing this morning. I was apologetic. But everyone knows you should always save your work. And I was trying so hard also to print pictures of Reagan for him. I only printed about 4 before the $40 ink cartridge went out. You are welcome. Now I have no color ink. That means..... driving in rush hour traffic with a hungry 5 yr old, parking at Target while listening to those evil brakes, trying to get a parking spot with people walking all over the parking lot, going in and Reagan whining non-stop for popcorn and Icee, trying to remember the color cartridge # (there are only about 50 to choose from), shelling out $40 for ink, dragging misbehaving child out the door.................and so on and so onnnnnnnnn. Getting home and smelling Harley's poops wafting from the laundry room, loading the ink, finding the photo paper and then having the SHUT DOWN the darned computer because it is locked up. So, my love, you CANT win.

The "Date"

The love and Becky moving Josh's arm from around Reagan
The lovebirds getting kicks off of sweet tea
Josh showing me chewed up red tortilla chips
Reagan, trying to show who's boss

Whoaaaaaa, Becky had to run interference after this one
No my eyes are not black, just have hellatious red eye

Date night for Josh and Reagan. We were late. I was putting on my makeup and Reagan started calling for me from the kitchen. I had just gone through the the litany of phrases "Are your teeth brushed, used the potty, hair bow in, ready?" "Come Here.." she asked??? And to what do my wondering eyes do appear but a puddle of pee and little eyes full of fear. Went blank, then grabbed the paper towels and started wiping. Removed the hooker heels and washed them in the sink. Sent Reagan upstairs for another skirt and shoes. We were supposed to be at the restaurant already.

Reagan was full out. She was ON. Wild. They were happy to see each other. I think they are very cute. It is healthy for Reagan to have a friend who is a boy. She is learning relationship dynamics early. Sean's love gives her confidence. My loves just suffocates her. Nah, I am just the protector, the worrier, the doctor, the shrink, the teacher, the fashion stylist, the chauffeur, the mind reader, the event coordinator..... Part of being a mom.

Fun times. Josh's parents are great people. We had fun with them. Ok, need to focus now. I did nothing all day today. Nothing and Sean can attest to that. I just did not want to go anywhere even though we are low on toilet paper. I always have toilet paper, paper towels, Tide, Downy... I may not have any food but I have the others.

Sean and Mini-He: Pacifier Days and Football

FASHION and the Five-Year-Old Girl

It is time to go... another one of those mornings. I ironed a pink polka-dotted shirt and dirty pink leggings for Reagan. She had that look in her eye, I knew she was going to tuck in that tunic-type shirt the minute I rolled the elastic waist on the leggings underneath her buddha belly. I used my dramatic voice "Darling, we dont tuck our shirts in leggings. Shirts are meant to cover our bottom when we wear leggings."
Reagan: "This is NOT FASHION! You are wearing fashion." Pink dress
Me: "I would much rather wear leggings and a tshirt. "
Reagan"Well if you're wearing fashion I want fashion."
Me: "Reagan, what is fashion?"
Reagan: "It's jean jackets and jeans."
Me: "Hmmm, and who wears fashion?"
Reagan: "Tierra wears jeans and jean jackets."
Me:" Fashion is how you carry yourself not what you wear." I demonstrated with an exaggerated hip swing walk. "Reagan, you are fashion. You set your own rules. It is not what your friends wear."
Reagan: "Well I want fashion. This is stupid. Stupid dots."
Me: " If you dont get out of the bathroom and I dont get to work on time, there will be no fashion. You will be wearing old clothes that dont fit because I wont be able to buy you anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I need to think about it and try another approach. Mother friends, send your ideas.

test to moi

added some of you on email to auto receive blog

Decided I did not like how the emails came across and took most of you off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apologies. Not the same in email as it is in a direct link.

Adrienne: My Guest Blogger

Brenna and Reagan
Caroline, Reagan, and Brenna

I’m another mom from Reagan’s pre-school and my daughter Brenna has been a classmate of Reagan’s for several years now. I’d like to contribute my own “Special Moment” to the book Denise is going to publish.

I frequently make the drive between Charlotte and Charleston to visit my parents and Columbia, South Carolina makes a nice midway stopping point to refuel and take a potty break. On one such trip, both of my girls were sleeping soundly until I pulled up at the pump and turned off the engine. Caroline, my then three-year-old ,stretched and rubbed her eyes and said, “Mommy, where are we?”
Excited to share I bubbled: “Oh, we’re in Columbia sweetheart ~ a very special place! This is where mommy and daddy went to college and went on our first date and fell in love. . .”

She looked around for a moment to survey the scene and then asked: “ . . . and now it’s a gas station?”

Vocabulary and Logic and your Five-Year Old

Driving past a store after Reagan played hide and seek at Kirklands, brakes whistling as I slow down for the speed bump, ladder or something on the roof of the store......
Reagan: "Mommy, why is that ladder on the roof?"
Me: (Irritable after the hide n seek in Kirklands) "I dont know. I am not psychic."
Reagan: "Huh?"
Me: "I cant read minds."
Reagan (dramatic, hands a-flying, eyes a-rolling): "Well, uh, you sure can read books!"